I Can Do It And I'm a Lazy Fothermucker!

I have recently undertaken an adventure. I am on a weight loss extravaganza! No really, I'm considered morbidly obese - only they're dumbasses because it's way too generalized and there's no way I could ever get to the medical "correct" weight without becoming anorexic. Anyway, I'm really just overweight.

Since January 4th I've been doing a Biggest Loser contest with my Dad and his girlfriend and her family. I'm kicking ass. Winner gets $500, so I'm currently booking appointments to get my hair cut and have a spa day. I will win no doubt because final weigh in is in a fortnight (not often I get to use that word!), and I've lost at least 4% more than all my competition. This is all wonderful rainbows and spaghettios but what I'm REALLY proud of are my physical accomplishments:

I could not run worth crap when I started and my goal is to eventually run an entire 5k, which is leaps and bounds more than I ever thought I could EVER do.

Tonight I ran 3/4 of a mile, and could probably go a little more but I didn't stretch out well enough.

The best part is my crazy active dog can't keep up with me towards the end and I have to drag him along - even better! Resistance training!

And for your pleasure I present to all those training to be all that you can be or just to get off the couch and struggle your way through the gym routine..

ENTIRELY KICK ASS WORK OUT TUNES:

Electric Avenue; Cover by Skindred, one of the best covers of any song, EVER. Love that reggae/punk/metal/British mixture that they do so well!

Mamacita; Collie Buddz, great dancing music - straight from the islands

Lapdance; N.E.R.D., angry and awesome motherf*cker

Mi Confesion; Gotan Project, Electronic Tango Spanish Rap. Yes please.

Supermassive Black Hole; Muse, we've all heard it and let's be honest - it's hard NOT to move to it

Wake Up; Arcade Fire, this is like 5 full minutes of inspiration and magic

Must Be the Water; Marc Broussard, gotta love that New Orleans pop/jazz

Chelsea Dagger; The Fratellis, Scottish. Energetic. Be careful though - might make you run faster than you planned into your workout

We Are the Night; The Chemical Brothers, badass electronica

Sorry's Not Good Enough; McFly, total Pop music and good like it came from the 50s - only it didn't

Are You Gonna Be My Girl; JET, no need for explanation

Canned Heat; Jamiroquai, from the Napolean Dynamite Soundtrack - been around a lot longer and is such a good dancing song

Ping Island/Lighting Strike Rescue Op; Mark Mothersbaugh from the Life Aquatic w/ Steve Zissou, ok this one sounds a little weird but I promise it's worth a listen to. It's the best running song that exists

Feeling Good; Muse, again Muse just makes sense to me

The Queen and I; Gym Class Heroes, underplayed on the radio and overplayed in my iPod

So there you have it. You might not like my style, but if I get you to look up and listen to at least one song on my list - then I have done my job.

Sweat it out!

LDG

Design Design Bang Bang

Moving into a new place soon and in NEED of a great design for my place. I am desperately trying to make my place look like this place:



Found this on a blog. It's a photographer's house (last name Carter, not sure who he is but soon to be looking him up).

This is to the T exactly what I want my place to feel like.

YEEESSS.

Book Review: Glenn Beck's Common Sense

I love the idea of a book that takes a classic work and applies it to modern thought. Common Sense (by Thomas Paine) is actually one of my favorite books about the fundamental idea and creation of our government. However, Glenn Beck strays away from the application concept and into his own dogma more than I personally hoped (and honestly, just about as much as I expected - who am I kidding?!)

Being of the opposite creed as Beck, I approached the book objectively, and he makes some valid points about government spending and the way the politicians are running the country into the pooper. When Beck uses facts to base his rants - it does give him credibility, and really will make a person want to punch Al Gore in the face. But there are some of his ideas that I (and you) absolutely have take with about 20 grains of salt. He can be very narrow minded in his ideas - but you don't realize it right away because the tone of his writing is so powerful. This is a great read for a look into the far right's perspective, and I'm thankful he had the gonads to put some of his thoughts to ink. If you are confident in your own position on the major issues and political thought, the book gives a good perspective on where you stand individually.

I do think, however, that this is a dangerous, cult-inducing book for the sheer fact that Beck knows how to put ideas in a way that make total sense in context until you stop to think about them seriously for a minute. Then it's like oh, Glenn Beck, you really had me going! Though, I don't agree with maybe 85% of the things that he says in this book, I do think he is entertainment gold, and I admire the passion he has towards the country and the government.

If you haven't already - go out and read Common Sense by Thomas Paine. It's short, and worth the struggle wading through old fashioned language.

Go out there and read already!

Grammar Experiment I

Hello.

i am a hypocrite! !hypocrite a am i

endne.

Anecdote with comments

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
Final Anecdote

“It was nighttime and we sat by the fire stretching our arms toward the flames as we listened to stories and watched the moon and the stars retire. The red coal from the firewood lit our faces in the dark and wisps of smoke continuously rose toward the sky. Pa Sesay, one of my friends’ grandfathers, had told us many stories that night, but before he began telling the last story, he repeatedly said, “This is a very important story.” He then cleared his throat and began:

“There was a hunter who went into the bush to kill a monkey. He had looked for only a few minutes when he saw a monkey sitting comfortably in the branch of a low tree. The monkey didn’t pay him any attention, not even when his footsteps on the dried leaves rose and fell as he neared. When he was close enough and behind a tree where he could clearly see the monkey, he raised his rifle and aimed. Just when he was bout to pull the trigger, the monkey spoke: ‘If you shoot me, your mother will die, and if you don’t, your father will die.’ The monkey resumed its position, chewing its food, and every so often scratched its head or the side of its belly.
“What would you do if you were the hunter?”

This was a story told to young people in my village once a year. The storyteller, usually an elder, would pose this unanswerable question at the end of the story in the presence of the children’s parents. Every child who was present at the gathering was asked to give an answer, but no child ever did, since their mother and father were both present. The storyteller never offered an answer either. During each of these gatherings, when it was my time to respond, I always told the storyteller that I would think it over, which of course was not a good enough answer.

After such gatherings, my peers and I-all the children between the ages of six and twelve – would brainstorm several possible answers that would avoid the death of one of our parents. There was no right answer. If you spared the monkey, someone was going to die, and if you didn’t, someone would also die.

That night we agreed on an answer, but it was immediately rejected. We told Pa Sesay that if any of us was the hunter, we wouldn’t have gone hunting for monkeys. We told him, “There are other animals such as deer to hunt.”

“That is not an acceptable answer,” he said. “We are assuming that you as the hunter had already raised your gun and have to make the decision.” He broke his kola nut in half and smiled before putting a piece in his mouth.

When I was seven I had an answer to this question that made sense to me. I never discussed it with anyone, though, for fear of how my mother would feel. I concluded to myself that if I were the hunter, I would shoot the monkey so that it would no longer have the chance to put other hunters in the same predicament.

Ishmael Beah
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It is amazing to me which stories stick out in our minds. This story sticks out for me. It stuck out for Ishmael. Think about this: After the long and arduous task of writing his life on paper (and the translating of emotions to words - yikes!), he chose a story not at all related and so very related.

No thing is a sure thing. So the words we choose to communicate to others should reflect this notion of fleetingness in life.

"Goodnight, Americans. Sleep Well."

Random Observation I

veni, vidi, vici = heroic

vici, vidi, veni = dirty

I Found a New Hero on the Syfy Network (?).

Disclaimer: If you are not Jessica Toukatly (you probably are! hey Jess!), then I'm not sure why you are reading this. But feel free to keep on keepin' on. Maybe we are similar? Maybe you can relate.

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I have recently discovered that I have no skills that matter. As a college graduate, I am great at things like cramming for exams, reading really really fast, and drinking. Though, now that I'm graduated, I don't see the use in drinking - so I don't. I do, however, have an aptitude for languages (am currently working on a third and fourth) and I pick up on things very quickly. This made college a breeze for me, though I did only go to a state university, which is ranked somewhere in the middle on the impressive list. I guess you could say I'm skilled at music since I did get a degree in music, however I'm not that great at my instrument or any of the other 3-5 that I picked up along the way. Anyway, I am decent at a lot of intellectual things, but not great at any one thing and thus have not gleaned anything useful for the real world. I realized this quite recently since I'm in deep debt and can only find temp jobs. I want to use my hands and make something. What I wouldn't give to know how to plumb! I do not want to be a plumber. I hate poo. Maybe I should have said mechanic instead. Readers, don't give me any insight on Roto-Rooter, please.

The unfortunate aspect of this mediocre plight of mine is that as an academic, I am painfully aware of all that I could be doing in the world. I could be like Paul Farmer who cures diseases in Haiti. I could be like Jose Abreu who started an inner city youth orchestra in Venezuela. I could even be like Dave Eggers who created a tutoring system free for kids at his workplace (in this case I would first need a workplace). More on these fellows later. I aspire to be like these people but I have no idea how to even start the transition from couch to SCUBA gear. I am stuck in the middle, and I can't really do anything about it. The bank wants their money, damnit.

Then last Wednesday I was watching Destination Truth on Syfy. Great show! Josh Gates is the man. It hit me how much fun it would be to do the things that Josh gets to do on his show, even if it's all fake (though the animals and bugs look real, hey-o!). I did a little research on him because that's what I do, and I found out he was recently inducted into the Explorer's Club. Damn fantastic! I rather admire the guy.

Now, if there's something I am proud of in my life, it would be my travelling. I LOVE to travel. I have been travelling all over the place with my family (mostly with my mother) since I was little. I have been to some amazing places and have done some amazing things.

My mother wanted to be an archaeologist. She always said she had to decide between archaeology and math because my grandfather wanted her to do something useful. She ended up as a computer engineer for 20 years. I understand that this is the reason for all the travelling, and I think I may have inherited that explorer gene. I think it must be a gene since my father hates to travel and hates change, I'm not really a product of my surroundings (since I get along much better with my father, and consequently spend much more time with him). My mom didn't have the will to do what she really wanted, and this is NOT what I want. I love moving, new places, and new things. I realized I don't stay with any specific job for very long, because once I have learned all there is to learn and get bored, I quit and move on. Not a good record for my resume, but I do have an array of extracurricular activities - and the stories to match.

My question is: how do I get a job similar to Josh's? Josh has my dream job: research and travelling! I don't want a TV show - I"m not so good with words on camera and I tend to lean to the sarcastic side of humor which doesn't translate well. But field research, that's my kind of research! I want to be knowledgeable and well-traveled. I want to talk to people. I love listening to stories - this is one of the reasons for my fascination with languages. I love folk tales and mythology, legends, even the elderly!
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Sidenote: I just checked the Destination Truth facebook page to see if I could find some interesting tidbits about the show. Turns out the page is apparently for all those who would like to have a child by Josh. Sure he's a looker, but Syfy! Listen up! Post stories and links and websites for all of Josh's apparently adoring fans! Put up travel information, maybe even link to expedia or orbitz or whichever travel site Josh plugs every episode. Show some interest in what the fans want. Josh, do a live chat or something. Josh is a photographer, so put up some of his pictures that didn't make it to the Syfy site. Get Jael to blog! Good lord people. I thought television was a business? Maybe I'll post that on the fb page!
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Anyway, so I have decided there are two roadblocks stopping me from my life adventure. 1: funds (I myself am anti-employed = temp job), and 2: I have a bit of an addiction to indoor plumbing. So, there's that.

But I love stories! Myths and Legends! Ideas and significant conversation! Maybe that's what I'll get my master's in. Thanks for the help, Josh.

Cheers!